In the series we are doing on the top five things to consider for starting your marriage out right. We have talked about dreams and your marriage, your career and marriage and now it is time to discuss children. This subject is probably one of the most important in my opinion. Once you have them you can’t take them back, there are no exchanges and having a child is a life time occupation. My oldest is 26, with a good job and a sweet wife but I still like to hear from him every week or so.
This is one conversation that needs to be done way before wedding bells are going off in either party’s head. The issue of children can tear a couple apart faster then any other issue that may be faced. Ask the question of if they want children and believe the answer that is given. Do not think you can change their mind once you are married. If you don’t think you can live a life with them based on their answer walk away as hard as it may be. At least it will just be the two of you hurt.
I think a plan is important for every couple to have on when they want to increase their family. My hubby and I had a five year plan that we would work and save for five years before having children. It worked kinda… our first baby was born within 16 months of our marriage and all three kids within the five year plan we had set up. We laugh now when we hear our own kids plan for their future for we know who is really in charge of our lives. Just be sure to understand plans change and you have to quick on your willingness to be a part of the new plan.
When marriage becomes a serious conversation between the two of you take time to talk about children. Do you both want them, when do you want them and how many do you want? Having a plan is a good thing. Remembering that a plan can change quickly and you have to be honest in realizing that this can happen to you. Can you hop on board a new plan and be happy with the changes? Marriage will help you understand change but bringing another person into this world will alter you for the rest of your life. My best advice is to just hang on and enjoy the ride!
Ron and Shawn make up the “Odd Couple.” We are a husband and wife team who have been together for the last 27 years. We have laugh, cried, fought, made up, and made more mistakes then any two people could. Through it all we have raised the greatest three kids in the world! We would like to offer you a free report we put together titled 10 Marriage Help Tips Report with video. Click here for the report. Here is a picture of us at the World Famous Ft Worth, TX Stockyards