Have you heard the old saying that it’s so easy to hate the one you love? What dangerous territory we wander into if you place your relationship in the land of emotions. That is appropriate for when you first meet someone and experience emotions of attraction and caring. But after the marriage vows believe me the mountain of love can and so often does dip to the valley of boredom and dislike. Those are all emotions, think of your day and how many emotions you feel during just one day. Happy when you wake up, frustrated getting the kids ready for school, anxious about the big meeting at work, proud as you watch your kids play sports after school. Anger that the sink backed up again. Fretting to get dinner on the table. Exhausted at the end of the day.
If you put all those emotions towards your marriage it will crumble quickly. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel emotions and try to keep them from your marriage. What I want to point out to you is there has to be a firm foundation a commitment that you and your spouse have made to each other at the beginning of the marriage. I happen to believe that faith has a lot to do with that commitment. Then you carried on our marriage from that point.
Ok, you might be saying I can understand having a commitment to my husband or wife but how do I do this now? We are already married. That’s the simple part. So here is your action plan for not letting emotions rule your marriage. Ready… say it in your head. I am not going to let emotions rule my marriage. Then go say it to your spouse, and then write it down. Depending on what type of personalities are in your marriage you can make it as simple as that or you can create a beautiful little ceremony. The important thing is that you just do it.
Ron and Shawn make up the “Odd Couple.” We are a husband and wife team who have been together for the last 27 years. We have laugh, cried, fought, made up, and made more mistakes then any two people could. Through it all we have raised the greatest three kids in the world! We would like to offer you a free report we put together titled 10 Marriage Help Tips Report with video. Click here for the link. Here is a picture of us at the World Famous Ft Worth, TX Stockyards.
Hi Shawn, interesting blog. I think you are right that it is important to recognize that commitment and meaning in a relationship is not the everyday ups and downs of emotional flow. Emotions are in constant flux and therefore cannot be the basis of commitment in ta relationship. Emotions are often confusing and even contradictory as well.
I do think learning to listen to emotion however, can open up opportunities to deepen our understanding of ourselves. This is more about healing old wounds and learning to empower ourselves. Emotions are our guidance mechanism but not in the way of “doing what ever we feel like”. That will just get us into trouble and lead to confusion.
Thank you for your wisdom
Have a fantastic day
Vanessa
Vanessa you so hit the nail on the head. We are emotional that is the way God made us. It is important for us to be able to corral and harness them to be used for our good. Such as what you suggested in understanding ourselves. But we can’t let them lead us and guide us in making rash decisions that are not in our best interest.
Thank you for reading the blog.
Hi Shawn, Great post and topic. As I read I think to myself how easy is it really for women to do what you say…we are such emotional creatures. How do we catch our selves or really turn off the emotion within our marriage? Any tips for us emotional women? How can we really conger our emotions? Might be your next topic for a post ….
Great idea Maureen. I will work on that. Emotions are so important they are part of us but we just can’t let them rule us.