If you haven’t heard about the big news of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorcing the last couple of days then you must have been hiding under a rock. Granted, I do pay attention to this type of news when I hear it because I write about marriage and how to avoid divorce. I think Hollywood has to be one of the hardest places in the world to make a marriage work. These people live in a fairy tale where they are always right and always have a happy ending so when they come back to their real life and have to deal with their marriage that is in the land of reality it can be hard for them. But I did do some research and I believe that there are three things that Tom and Katie did wrong that we the common people can even learn from.
People, please look at the history of the person you are about to marry. In Tom Cruise’s case he had been married two times before. His marriages lasted around three years and they usually ended with him either cheating on the wife with the new woman or he married within the year of a divorce. As my momma use to say, if he cheated with you he will cheat on you. In my best Dr. Phil voice I want to say to you, the best predictor for future behavior is a person’s past behavior.
Take stock of a person’s history. Do what you can to make sure their old mistakes don’t follow along into your relationship. Pay attention to a person’s history.
Time and Distance
You don’t have to be famous Hollywood stars to put time and distance between yourself and your spouse. Work, family, and personal hobbies can all come in and fill your days until you are only seeing each other while brushing your teeth at night and sometimes not even then. You know who you are, stop it!
Make sure that you schedule time with your partner to see and talk to each other daily. Make sure to date each other at least weekly and have family time as well. Don’t let time and distance destroy your marriage.
It has been reported that Tom and Katie had different opinions on parenting issues. Instead of working those out they allowed this issue to be a factor in destroying their marriage. I believe almost every parent has had views that their partner hasn’t always agreed with concerning the kids. I know my husband and I haven’t always agreed on everything but we agreed on the fundamentals and then let the individual parent make decisions on a case by case situation.
A great rule for parents is to set up a meeting with each other and come to an agreement on the important fundamental issues and then trust your partner enough to parent your child without conflict from you.
So there we have three things that Tom and Katie did wrong that we the common people can learn from. Pay attention to the history of your soon to be darling. Don’t allow time and distance to create gaps in your marriage. And iron out parenting issues before you need them. Taking care of these issues should help in keeping you out of divorce court.
What are somethings that been helpful to your marriage?
Ron and Shawn make up the “Odd Couple.” We are a husband and wife team who have been together for the last 27 years. We have laugh, cried, fought, made up, and made more mistakes then any two people could. Through it all we have raised the greatest three kids in the world! We would like to offer you a free report we put together titled 10 Marriage Help Tips Report with video. Click here for the report. Here is a picture of us at the World Famous Ft Worth, TX Stockyards