In our series of, Top five things to start your marriage out right, money was one of the things that we decided we needed to discuss before the marriage happened. Actually, money will be discussed much during the marriage too but the foundation of money needs to be settled. Negotiations might need to be made as the marriage matures and money situations change but as long as the core beliefs shared by both parties are still there then one of the biggest obstacles in a marriage can be by passed.
Not having those core beliefs and a foundation about money in your marriage can bring a lot of grief to a married couple. Since money is one of the top problems in marriage a wise couple would spend the time to find out what the other believes and wants concerning money so differences can be compromised and agreed upon before the full stress of marriage is upon you. Being in the middle of a money crunch or crisis is not the time to learn that you aren’t working together where money is concerned.
Let money bring you together with your spouse. Have dreams and goals that you work on together. You can break your money goals down to short term and long term to help with the determination to save. Save for a trip or a special item that both of you want as a short range goal. Have a long term goal of savings with rules that once it is in that account you can’t touch it until you get to your goal of perhaps a down payment for a house or a car. Play a game about saving your change for date night. There are many ways that money can bring you together and not be the evil villain of destroying a marriage.
A word of caution against using credit cards to buy the things you want. Many new couples fall into this deep dark hole and usually spend the rest of their marriage trying to dig out of the hole. At that time anger and blame begin and the marriage starts spinning out of control. Suddenly, the expensive TV and sound system that you just had to get and put it on a credit card can’t be paid and the collection agency starts calling. You both blame the other for the decision, for not making the payment and for the fighting that erupts. Multiply this by a dozen times and soon tempers flare, stress is built up and lawyers are called to begin the divorce proceedings.
Don’t give up! At the beginning of a marriage take the time to put down a foundation concerning money. Learn to save and build up reserves for hard times that can hit marriage financially. Learn to know what you can afford and stay away from what you can’t. Remember the person beside you is more important then any of the things of this world and you don’t want to create the reason that would come between you.
Money Monanza in Marriage bit.ly/LwVyol
— Shawn Snyder (@shawnrsnyder) June 26, 2012