Many couples enter into marriage seeking heightened intimacy communication and togetherness but find it hard to keep the spark alive. A new study shows one simple thing that can help: date nights. In fact, a report from the National Marriage Project at UVA and the Wheatley Institute found that married couples who went out on a regular basis were less likely to divorce than those who didn’t have set dates together.
How often you go out on a date can have a dramatic impact on your relationship. Some experts suggest going out once a week, while others recommend more frequent dates. The key is to make it a priority and not let other things get in the way. If you and your spouse have children date nights can be a challenge to plan. However, life coach Nina Rubin suggests starting small and building it into your routine. “Even if you only have time to get out once a month, it’s important to do something that is a bit different than your usual night in it will feel like a new experience” she tells Elite Daily. She also says that playing interactive games that require teamwork like truth or dare and drinking roulette can be a fun way to connect as a couple.
But the more people you bring along the more you’ll need to consider whether that’s a good idea. In addition to being a big financial commitment it can also be stressful to try to please everyone. In addition, if it’s too busy or the activities aren’t enjoyable, it can quickly become a chore.
That’s why most marriage experts recommend avoiding bringing too many people on your dates. Instead of planning an elaborate event, opt for something simpler that can be repeated such as a cup of coffee in the morning or spending TV, iPad and smartphone-free time after your kids are tucked into bed for the night.
Experts also recommend focusing on quality over quantity when it comes to your date nights. “It’s better to have a smaller number of dates that are meaningful and exciting rather than more frequent, less-meaningful experiences” therapist K’Hara McKinney tells Elite Daily. “This is more likely to stick around over the long haul than trying to hit a specific quota and then failing to follow through on that.”
Another great way to ensure you and your spouse are making time for each other is to link it to something that you value more whether that’s giving back being physically active or seeking out novelty. For example, if you love helping those in need, volunteer together at a soup kitchen. If you and your spouse are fitness enthusiasts book a hike or sign up for an exercise class.
It may take some work to get in the groove of dating regularly after you tie the knot but once you do it can go a long way towards keeping your marriage happy and healthy. If you’re struggling to find the right balance, a couple’s counselor or coach may be able to help you create a date night that works for your family.
