The Odd Couple Blog

With Memorial Day behind us and with a flip of the page on the calendar to bring in the new month of June Americans are presented with a little unknown holiday called Flag Day. During these times when we have men and women engaged in conflict overseas and around the world preserving our freedom it is important to reflect on any holiday that makes us pause and remember that the freedoms we enjoy and the symbols that go along with that freedom; such as the American flag.

On June 14, 1777, the Continental Congress adopted the stars and stripes as the flag of the United States. Since that time it has been the symbol of hope and freedom for millions of people. Stories and songs have been written about the flag, it leads our troops into battle representing the independence and patriotism that we feel for our nation. In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson officially proclaimed June 14th as Flag Day for the United States. It started out as a need to give people weary from the war a patriotic occasion to celebrate, to rally for the success of our nation. The celebration now has turned into the “National Flag Week.” The president of the United States normally issues a proclamation to the American citizens asking them to fly the flag for the duration of the week. The flag should be displayed on all government buildings; there are community parades and events as well celebrating our national flag and what it represents. On the second Sunday in June there the National Flag Day Foundation holds a ceremonial program usually at the Betsy Ross House in Philadelphia, with the raising of the flag, the Pledge of Allegiance cited and the singing of the National Anthem.

During this time of American history it is important for the world to see that we the people of the United States believe in and stand strong for our country. Our flag is a symbol of that commitment and is a beacon to others that there is a place where you can believe as you wish, live as you wish. There are people who believe this so deeply that they will put their lives on the line to make sure that you will not lose those freedoms. We as the American people can support our troops by simply going out and buying a flag and displaying during National Flag Week, 4th of July, perhaps all summer long. Such a small act serve as a thank you to our veterans and active service people.

The Pledge of Allegiance by Francis Bellamy:
“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Star Spangled Banner by Francis Scott Key:
O! say can you see by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

There is not much else that brings a thrill to a parent’s heart then when their preschooler starts to recognize and participate in the world around them. When they start learning how to communicate with their outside world; learning their ABC’s and numbers a whole new world is about to open up to your preschooler. Helping them to learn these fundamental facts in a fun, unique and inventive way that makes the learning process simple, enjoyable and all about them. Personalized books that create stories around these skills are a treat to the child and the parent as well.

One of the personalized books that engages you child with a story about the alphabet is a Sesame Street ABC and Me book. This story has your child meeting Big Bird on Sesame Street on a special day for the neighborhood. The rest of the Sesame Street Gang was soon to gather to help clean up their block. To make the day more fun they decide to make a game of it and start cleaning up trash finding something that starts with each letter of the alphabet. Elmo, Oscar, Cookie Monster, Zoe, Bert and Ernie join Big Bird and your child helping them get through the entire ABC’s.

When your child is ready there is also a Sesame Street personalized book for counting. Called Let’s Count. This time your child will find Elmo sitting on the steps getting ready to go for a hike. Unfortunately, Elmo is upset because he is suppose to bring 10 sandwiches but is not good at counting up to 10. So your child gets to help Elmo and they are ready for their hike. On the hike your child and the Sesame Street gang count things on the way. Apples, turtles and frogs are counted as they tromp through the fields. Next they find caterpillars, birds, fish and pinecones to count. Finally they settle down to a lunch of the sandwiches that Elmo and your child prepared.

Some of the great benefits of a personalized book are that your child becomes the star of the story. These books make great heirlooms because they are hard backed which can stand up to being used by children and can be wiped clean. There is also a dedication page which has the child’s name on it. Then the presenter of the book can have a personalized message for the child as well as who the book is from and a date can also be included. These books are perfect for preschool to elementary aged children. These 9×6” book have 24 pages which are full colored with print on one side and a brightly colored picture on the opposite page so as they listen to the story there is a picture for the child to look at.

This summer would make a perfect time to introduce the world of personalized books to your little learner. They make great gifts no matter what the celebration might be or just a fun way to spend summer time reading. If you would like to learn more about the education value of a personalized children’s book click here.

Our family, as well as many other hundreds of families across this country is welcoming home our college graduated children during this season. What a milestone our children have accomplished, a college degree. As the car is packed up with the contents of our children’s possessions over the last four years and we head back home nothing has been said but it is clear that going back and living the way the family use to live before the child left for school is not an option. Parenting adult children while they live at home will take a mind shift from both parties and some healthy respect as well.

When your recent college graduate comes home and the honeymoon stage of having them home again starts to recede is a perfect time to set down and talk about the boundaries that you will have with your adult child. Privacy is a huge hurtle for many parents to make in this adjustment of the family dynamic. Remembering that our children did not share every single thing that went on in their lives with us when they were away at college they have developed an independence that we as parents should be thankful for.

There are still the rules of the house and it does not matter the age of the person living there, the rules apply to all. The values and morals that we have always had have not changed we are still a non smoking household and we do not have alcohol in the house. And we all have chores to do to keep our household running functionally. The lessons learned during the high school years, click here to read that blog, still apply. Each person is responsible for themselves and their own messes. We are finding that our adult children have no problem fulfilling the expectations we have, we as the parents just need to let them know what those expectations are.

Perhaps the biggest challenge to having your adult children living with you during this time is you as the parent allowing you child to be a grown up. Encouraging them with their decisions but not to take control of their lives. To be a support system but not to be their long term financial backers, they need to find a job; times are tough out there for highly educated people with no experience in their fields. That is ok; they have a place to live, food to eat until they do land a job. But finding a career is the name of the game of being an adult so there is no other option.

So on your way of bringing home your grown child from college enjoy the achievements and memories of that time. When you arrive home set up a time to talk with your children, letting them know things that you are thinking and expecting out of them. Ask them if they have ideas on how to make this transition workable as well. Listen to each other; give privacy to each person as well. Be an encouragement to one another and provide a supportive atmosphere that will give time for finding a job. Parenting a grown child is a challenging task for dad and mom but the relationship that you can build during this time will make all the challenges worth it in the end.

If you have experienced having your grown children at home with you please tell us about your situation and how you handled it in your own family.

Now I am going to start off by saying that I am not a mechanic, but a guy that likes to work on things and save myself some money. The reason I changed the emergency break cables is, here is Texas you have to have your car inspected every year and when I took my escort in it failed because the emergency break did not work. On this escort there are 3 different cables that make up that system. There is one that goes from the hand lever inside the car to a part that I call an equalizer. What it does is adjust itself to pull on each of the other cables equally. From there a separate cable goes to each rear wheel. Those 2 cables were the only ones that I had to replace. The parts were around $65 dollars at our local parts store.

The first thing I did was jack the rear end up and take the wheels off. Then I removed the break drums. I removed the center console cover that was over the emergency break lever and loosened up the adjustment nut all the way off so that I would have enough play in the cable to disconnect the other 2 from it.

Now to disconnect the 2 rear cables from the single cable other people told me that I would have to take the exhaust off but when I got underneath the car I was able to pull the exhaust to the side to get the nuts that held the heat shield off. Once I got that out of the way I was able to disconnect the 2 rear cables on that end. Further on back there were a couple of bolts that held the cables in place that I had to take off. The last thing I had to do to get the cables off was disconnect the cables at the drum.

I will suggest to you that you go ahead and replace the rear breaks while you have everything apart. I have to go back a little bit and say that when I got the cables I noticed that they had different part numbers so I had the parts people mark on the box which side was which. The main difference was the little mounting bracket that was on the cable.

When installing the cables I just worked my way backwards. I connected the new cable to the break drum mechanism then I ran the cable back and attached it to the solid bracket and then ran it back to where it connects to the center cable. Once I had both rear cables back in place I connected them to the center cable and threaded the adjustment rod back up through the floor and then to the break lever. I went back and reinstalled the heat shield over the exhaust and I was finished under the car. I put the wheels back on and lowered the car back down, torqued the lug nuts and then made the final adjustments at the break lever and installed the console.

Test the emergency breaks by engaging it, start the car and let the clutch out and see if the breaks hold you in place. From start to finish the project took about 5 hours time.

Some other great articles about vehicle maintance can be found here and here.

Teenagers don’t like a lot of input from adults about their money. They feel that it is theirs and they are free to do what they want with their hard earned money. For the most part there is some validity to their feelings that is why parents must start the education concerning money early with their teenagers. Instilling a work ethic within your child is an important first step; then showing them the importance of goals and savings when it comes to their money is another important lesson for them. They will also watch how dad and mom handle their money which will influence them when they make decisions concerning their own money.

A first lesson that we feel is important to teach our children about money is giving back to the Lord a tithe of their paycheck. A usual tithe is ten percent of their wage; in the beginning the amount is not as important as the life lesson. Giving a tithe teaches them several important lessons. It helps them to understand the blessings that God provides for them and how to be thankful for those blessing by acknowledging that God is the one who provided these blessings to them and the tithe is their way of giving back to God. It is also a way of letting them be a part of the community of their church and helping others in that community.

Learning to be responsible for the bills they have is also another important lesson your teen needs to learn when dealing with their money. Most teens I know have a cell phone and other technology that has a recurring billing cycle. This is the perfect time to help teach important lessons by letting your teen be responsible for these bills. Technology is a privilege not a right. Letting them pay for these privileges while having the safety of home and food provided for is a good lesson.

Savings is another lesson in helping your teen with his money. Encourage your teen to open up a savings account at a bank; this will help with long range savings. This savings is for their future needs. It might include goals such as paying for a vehicle, college and those types of needs. Putting ten percent into this account as they get paid and then investing in a certificate of deposit (CD) when there is a larger amount of money in the account; these CD’s offer a higher rate of interest then the average savings account.

A short term savings is another important item for a teen to have for his money. This savings is for the things a teen wants such as video games, clothing and the necessities that teens feel that they need. These are items that once they have a job parents can turn over the chore of providing them over to the teen themselves. Around the age of 16 we no longer bought clothing, provided gas money or entertainment money for our kids. There will be times when they do not make wise decisions with their money and they will have to skip going out with their friends because they had run out of money by spending too much earlier. It is a wise parent that does not rescue the teen from this situation, a life lesson is being taught here and stepping in to change the consequences could create more problems in the future for the teen then learning the lesson at this point of time in their lives.

Our goal with helping teens make wise decisions with their money is that they will learn lessons that will keep them from falling into the pit of debt. That they will learn to manage their finances so that they can obtain a vehicle, a home and help provide for their family when they become adults.

Click here to see how to help your teen use his time wisely.

I’d love to hear from you with tips on how you help your teen with their money and time.

Math was never an easy subject for me in school. It didn’t seem to matter how much I tried I never seemed to understand what the teacher wanted and I dreaded when we worked out problems on the board, I always made a mistake and the other children always snickered or had hurtful comments to make. The teachers always seemed at a lost of what to do to help me or any other student who could not keep up with the schedule they had written down at the beginning of the school year. I didn’t want my own children to experience the dread of learning math; determining that things would be different for them I came up with some tips and now I hope that these suggestions might offer help and guidance if you know a child who struggles with their math skills.

My first tip: Make sure that your child has a breakfast before they start their day. Research has shown that your child will be more ready to learn if their nutritional needs are meet. It is hard to concentrate on learning anything if their belly is rumbling with hunger.

2nd tip: Introduce the history of math to your child, when certain math inventions were made and by whom, what were the circumstances or need for the invention. How is math used through out the world.

3rd tip: Make a game of learning facts. There are a lot of math games that will help your child enjoy learning, helping with the fundamental facts that they will need to know. Using games reduces the stress of the learning process and makes learning fun and not so boring nor intimidating.

4th tip: Use math in real life situations. Take the facts that your child is learning and bring it into situations that your child is in every day. When cutting a pizza talk about the fractions you are making. If they are making a purchase show them how to figure tax into the price. How many cookies will they need for each of their friends to have two? These can be ways to use math in their every day lives.

5th tip: Use visual aids or manipulatives when teaching math. We have talked about how children learn differently; for some children using visual aids can be the catalysis between understanding and not understanding the concepts that are being taught. As your child learns the skills they will become less dependent on the manipulatives.

6th tip: Using food to teach math concepts. Weather it be candy, cereal, popcorn or pizza simple math facts are easy to manipulate so concepts can be seen. This also puts the child at ease which helps make the learning easier.

7th tip: When learning math there are many patterns but sometimes those are hard for a child to see. Pointing out these patterns can making math easier, this can be done using manipulatives such as money. Also helping the child to memorize the patterns such as 2s, 4s, 5s, 6s, 8s, 10s and working up from there.

8th tip: Use music and songs to help your child with memorizing math facts. This tip was used by each of my children. They sang their way through their multiplications tables, square roots and there is even are even little ditties that help in Algebra and Geometry.

9th tip: Mix it up. Use different medias when learning and doing math; computer software, worksheet pages, time races, are all great ways to keep learning varied which will help the student from being bored and help with the learn process.

10th tip: The buddy system is a great way to learn math facts. Kids can sometimes explain things to each other so they understand it better then any adult can. Plus as they help each other learn solidifies the facts for each child.

As you read over these tips I hope that you see at least one or two that you could implement to help make math fun for your own child.

As a mom who has raised three healthy teenagers one of the many conversations I have had with each child is; where are you going, who are you going with and what will you be doing? I am sure you have asked the same questions of your teen. The answers are what we normally use to determine if we will give our permission for the outings of our teenagers. For the most part your child during their teen years are very social animals and would use all of their time with friends which is important but as parents it is our responsibility to help your teen use their time wisely and still enjoy their social life as well.

A teen needs to use their time wisely in developing their mind. Schooling should be the most important activity that your child is involved in at this time in their lives. Learning fundamentals that they will need to have to advance in their education and then to also stretch their thought process and to introduce new thoughts and ideas to their minds. While fundamentals in education are important adding to that education is something that a teenager should be taking time to do; perhaps taking special classes that will help them in a career choice or taking classes that deal with a favorite hobby anything that keeps their minds growing and keeps them dreaming about their future.

Physical activity for their bodies are just as important as developing their minds. Today’s teens spend a lot of their time doing activities that don’t require much in the way of movement. There needs to be something to get them up and stimulate their metabolism. Sports, walking, outside chores, part time jobs can all be used to take care of the physical activity that their bodies need to create a healthy adult. Plus these activities keep a child busy but they are also able to socialize with friends but still not have the empty free time available where they would be able to get into trouble. If you would like to read more about helping your child be respectful click here.

Bringing your teenager up with some spiritual guidance throughout their lives will help them with making decisions in their teenage years that might save them a lot of disappointment and heartache. At this point in their lives they should be able to make rational decisions based on the facts of the situation and have the self control and discipline of making the choices that might not be what they want to do at the moment but knowing that it might be what is best for them. Taking time to have a relationship with Christ and being taught Christian values can help your teen make better decisions with what to do with their time.

If your teenager is using some of their time engaged in their schooling and adding to their education. Active and keeping busy with some form of keeping their bodies healthy and have a moral compass that they have been building through their lives by attending church and having a relationship with Christ. Then congratulations, I would say that you have helped your teen to use their time wisely.

Home schooling during the high school years can be a fun and rewarding time for both the child and parent. This time can be used to keep, maintain and even deepen a relationship with your child during a high stress time of their lives. This can be a time to build a trust with your child so that they are willing to listen to council that you would like to share with them during this time of their lives. Also, as a Christian parent it can be the time to guide your child in their Christian walk and to help with any questions that they have so that their relationship with the Lord is their own; which will help them as new choices and decisions come their way in the upcoming years.

As your child enters the high school years record keeping becomes very important. You will want to start recording the things that your child accomplishes so that you can report them for college admission considerations. This is the time to start looking at the requirements of the top three college choices that your child is thinking about attending. This will help in knowing what they require from incoming freshman. Also, check your state requirements in what they recommend a high school student to have before graduation. Some things that we learned along the way is to start a record writing down every book read during the high school years either for school or free reading. Keep up to date with your records; this will help if you need to present them for scholarships or grants.

Keeping track and recording your child’s extracurricular activities are just as important as recording the grades of the academic classes. For homeschoolers this is important because sports can also be counted as physical education credit as well as extracurricular. Colleges are interested in a child’s outside activities only to show that they are a well rounded person, sports, 4-H, part time job it isn’t important to a college what a student is involved in just that they have a well balanced life and are active in academic as well as extracurricular activities.

During this time of your child’s development it is important for them to start learning life lessons while they are still in a safe environment and still have you as a sounding board to hear from them and have some input towards their dreams and decisions. This is a great time to teach about finances, if they have a vehicle its time for them to pay for the bills that occur from that vehicle; hopefully there isn’t a payment on it; but there will be insurance that has to be paid, gas, maintenance such as new tires and oil changes, here is a great article on oil changes. All of this is to teach them that as they get ready to step out on their own there are financial things that they will be responsible for and this is a step towards learning this responsibility.

This is a busy, exciting time for your teen. They still have their school work to keep up with; they are busy with extracurricular activities as well as many of them having jobs to help them earn the money they need for their special purchases. Its also a time for teen parents to start paying more attention to record keeping to help our teens take the next step in their educational process as well as being there to listen and give sound advise as your kids contemplate what they will do next in their lives.

Homeschooling the junior high student can be viewed in many different ways. It can be a time to make sure the skills taught in middle school are cemented and the skills are known well enough to make the step into higher level classes for your student without any struggles on their part. Or if your child is ready and looking for new learning opportunities the junior high years are a perfect time to let them get started. At this age level you ought to be able to see their passions and what they are eager to learn about. Find the resources for that passion, self paced curriculum, outside or co-op classes, community college, special lessons, whatever fits the bill to help your child stay excited about their learning.

Now I am a stickler for making sure that the formal part of a childs education is covered. In my opinion it would be foolish not to make sure that the basics of math, science, history and literature are covered. This is the time to expand on these foundations not to leave them behind. However, this is the time to give the kids some freedom and say in what else they are interested in adding to their education.

This freedom should comfort the parents of junior high students. This is a time when you are not fully responsible for all of the teaching of your child. The child themselves should be taking more and more responsibility for that and then with the outside classes and help with the education the role of a parent becomes more administration then teacher. Your job will be more of making sure that all the education goals are covered and that you child stays on track with the long range goals that they have for their future.

Now that we have talked about the educational goals for your junior higher and how your role in their education has changed to a certain degree, its time to talk about other goals you have for you junior higher. We wanted our kids to have life experiences were they can take care of themselves as they grow into their adult lives. No matter the gender of the child they need to know how to cook, it didn’t matter much to me if it was a gourmet meal or boxed macaroni and cheese just having some knowledge of how to feed themselves was important. At this point in a junior highers life washing dishes, cleaning the living room and bathrooms along with taking care of their own room should already be chores they are familiar with. It is also important to teach children how to do their own laundry, go over how to use the machines, how much detergent to use. Also teaching the correct way to iron is an important skill, they might not use it much but they still need to be exposed to it.

What an exciting time for you and your child. You should start seeing the rewards of all of your hard work as you see your child becoming more and more responsible for themselves, their education and their future.

The first day of spring came just a few days ago but old man winter is not releasing its hold easily this year. But that has not stopped the internal clock and the voice of my mother reminding me that no matter the weather it is time to take stock and spring clean. When I think of spring cleaning there are three areas that I think and take stock of. It goes without saying that cleaning takes place inside of the home. Also cleaning outside in the garden and yard is important. And this is my favorite time to look at my life, what needs to be honed and shaped, picked up and cleaned so I can enjoy the next several months.

Inside the home there are things that I only do yearly or seasonably. To me spring cleaning means taking down the curtains and washing them all and rehanging them after they line dry outside, something about bringing in the smell of spring time with the curtain. Although I do it at other times as well, washing the windows is a spring cleaning chore for me as well. It seems to wash the dirt and grime off and lets in the sunshine. Changing the filters in the heating and air conditioning system is done again in the spring also changing the batteries in all the smoke detectors in the house. Cleaning closets also helps me get ready for spring, putting away the winter clothes and pulling out clothes I haven’t seen since I put them away last fall.

As the days grow warmer and I start wandering around the yard and garden dreaming of what to plant this year there are some chores to take care of. We always seem to have leaves that have to be picked up and debris that has blown into the yard from the winter winds, trees and bushes that need to be trimmed back or pruned. I love to start working in the garden patch putting away hoses and stakes that were left out, pulling old vines up and mulching them. Sweeping off patios and sidewalks clearing dirt, leaves and trash,
washing off the patio furniture and chairs getting them ready for the first barbecue of the season.

This is my favorite season, seeing the plants coming back to life after a long winter rest. That is how I feel myself. I have made it through the bleak long winter months and my mind and soul are starting to awake. Most people make New Years resolutions but I never have the ability to make change in the dead of winter, it is the spring time when I am ready to take account of my life and see where I need to make changes. Things I have done wrong that need to be set right, challenging myself to be a better wife, mother and fellow human being.

So as I wait for March to go out like a lamb into balmy spring days I will be working in the house tidying up getting my spring chores done. As I wrap up those last few items before I can step outside and prepare the yard and garden for the growing season. Placing plants and furniture in new areas and preparing to enjoy early morning garden chores and evening patio time. Probably the most important spring cleaning is the reflection I will do as I go about these chores. Asking God to show me what he wants me to do and how he would like for me to live.